if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
