Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
