I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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