Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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