I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
