So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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