the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
