Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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