it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
