Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
