I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
