Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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