You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Ladies don't puke and tell
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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