So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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