Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
