So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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