Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize