i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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