So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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