don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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