Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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