Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
