i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
