Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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