so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
