By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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