A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
