Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize