She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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