life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
