their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
