well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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