So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize