Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
