If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
