You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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