one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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