ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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