My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
