There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
