Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
