i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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