ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just found puke in my bra..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
