kristin has been a bad kristin
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
