We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
