her vagine was all disorganized.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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