Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
