She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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