i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The best revenge is premature balding
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
