theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
