I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
