I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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