New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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