He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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