I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found your dick twin last night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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