can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
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I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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