I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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