Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
