I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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