I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
