jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
