Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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