Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just gift wrapped bread.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize