No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
