so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Welp...herpes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
