Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
